Welcome, bitch monkeys.
You love and loathe christmas all at the same time. You're ready for it since fucking September.
You're also like that little girl on the Gremlins movie. Your dad died stuck in the chimney trying to play santa for you. It turned you into a self hating christian. Because, santa claus is all about jesus too in a way. I mean they both have that stupid beard, just santa looks more sophisticated because he is white (not an arab jew) and has a white beard. Like santa. Yeah!
It all makes sense. I promise. Now, let's get that printed toilet paper, and get started.